I-Phone

I am seriously considering getting one of these. Is it worth about 800 bucks? No, so am I really considering it? Not really, but I do want one.

Women

Why do I let them affect me? Especially ones that just shouldn't matter.

Inspiration

I feel inspired.

--Inspired to make my apartment my home
--Inspired to make new friends
--Inspired to work hard
--Inspired to live life at its fullest

I feel inspired.

Day 2: Feels like week 2

I am not very happy with my work environment. Mainly because I am one of a few people who actually live in Oklahoma City. Everyone else seems to come and go as the job requires them to, but I see about 10 faces everyday and they are 10 different faces. I haven't yet meet my reporting official, and I was told that my likeliness of actually meeting him is slim to none, and if I do meet him, I shouldn't expect him to remember who I am after that meeting.

I suppose that my biggest gripe is that I thought that I would feel better about being alone in Oklahoma City after I started working, and I feel just as alone now as I did when I first got here. The project manager for the Florida region has shown interest in having me be an assistant at my old base, that only makes sense as I just came from there and I have some knowledge of the network. So, it is possible that early next year, I will be back in Florida. So far I haven't been put to good use, I sit around and watch other people work on spreadsheets and diagrams. That seems to be the biggest part of the job. Tomorrow however, I get to set up some equipment for a network roll out, but alas, I'll more than likely be diagramming the equipment as the Lead engineer plays with the stuff. I suppose that's better than watching him diagram. =/

I miss my old room mates dog (and my old roommate too)

Three weeks has passed since I left that annoying dog. I remember when I first moved in to that house, I had seen pictures of the little puppy but it wasn't until the first time I met Juice that I knew that he was going to irritate me the whole time I was there. I tried to play with him and be nice, but I had never had a dog before, at least not one that I ever took part in taking care of.

When he was a little puppy, he used to go into my room and hide little turds all around like hidden surprises for me; and of course, I had to make sure that he wouldn't do that again. I followed my room mates example on how to remedy the problem by spanking the dog, but perhaps I took that further than necessary as at some point in time, Juice finally got scarred of me. He also irritated me every morning when my room mate opened the door to let the dog out of the room; Juice would immediately open my door (it never shut fully) and jump on me to wake me up. This happened for months, and my room mate just laughed at me.

When they left the first time I was so relieved that my little irritation was gone, but over time I felt alone in that big house to myself. While the room mate was fighting in Iraq, the dog was staying at the aunts house. There, Juice meet up with another male figure who tormented Juice like no other. When they returned, I was so happy to see them both. This time, Juice was good. He knew to stay out of my room, but he also never wanted to play with me anymore. It wasn't until several months when I watched the dog over several weeks by myself that he finally warmed up to me again.

Ever since I moved out of that house, Juice has been a much better dog. Whenever I came over, he would jump up and down and wag his tail happy to see me. He would always go get his toy so I would play fetch with him. When I was hanging out and watching television, he would often hang out on the couch next to me or on the floor beside me.

I'm still don't care much for animals, but Juice is more than just an animal to me, he is my family and will be sorely missed.

Home at last!

My vacation is over and I am settled back into my apartment. I don't have my own Internet connection (thank goodness for people who don't use WEP), my cable hasn't been installed, I haven't unpacked anything yet and I start work on Monday.

My best friend has many interests, he is into music and plays several different instruments he is also into photography. All in all, he always has something to do with his time and never seems "bored". I also enjoy music, but I don't have the same passion about it as he does, nor the same level of commitment required to truly consider myself an ammature musician. I definitely do not share the same passion about photography. Point being, I need to find something that I can enjoy doing that will allow me to enjoy my free time and perhaps bolster my social life instead of sitting on my couch watching television all day long.

That is my goal for the next few... however long it takes, I need to discover something that I can join and participate in that will help me fill the social void.

Acclimation

Its almost five in the morning in California and I am extraordinarily tired. I want nothing more than to curl back into bed and sleep another five hours but I can't. At least, I shouldn't because I need to get used to waking up this early. Its nearly 7am central time and if this were next week I would already be late to work.

Every trip home has been different. While all of them have had enjoyable parts, most of them have been very tiring and emotional. Sometimes at the end of my vacation I want to stay longer and other times I'm ready to get back to life as I know it. This time around, I want to get back to life as I don't know it.

What is interesting in this situation is that I have full control over what I can do next. I am no longer a puppet of the United States Air Force, but I am still a slave to economics. I have a lease on an apartment, I just bought new furniture and now I am in a small amount of debt, which could turn into a huge debt if I decide to change my career path in a quick hurry.

Economics is important, but is it more important than being happy? I'm not saying that I couldn't be happy living in Oklahoma, I was quite content living there for three years previously. I'm just certain that I would be much happier living in Southern California and the time spent here on vacation has certainly solidified the fact that there is something about California that sets its apart from everywhere else that I have lived. I am sure that a big part of that is the friends and family, but there is something else that just attracts me, maybe its the fluoride they put in the water.

Of course, I am going to follow the logical side of my brain and take the economically safer route and make sure that I take care of my outstanding debts before making anymore career and life altering changes, thats just me-- Mr. take the safe route. Its funny because people tell me that I am adventurous and independent, but I disagree. I just found a path through the military that allowed me disguise my life as such, but in reality I'm still truly dependent. The only thing I did was replace the handouts of my birth parents with the hand outs of Uncle Sam. The last six years, I was told what job to do, what to wear, what to eat, and where to live. I might not have liked all the decisions that were made for me, but they were made and now that I have the final say on these decisions, I'm just so paranoid about making any of these seemingly easy decisions for myself.

Do I necessarily desire a life of being told how to run my life? No, in fact that was probably the main reason I decided to get out of the military in the first place. Do I think I made a bad decision? No. Each choice I have has its pros and cons. I wish there was a path in my life that lead me to live in California but for now, that road is being worked on.